did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
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When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
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It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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