I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize