dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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