Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
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Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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