just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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