my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize