Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
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I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
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It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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