dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
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He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
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sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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