I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
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I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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