when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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