Can i not drive my cunt home
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize