I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
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Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize