I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
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I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize