But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize