What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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