I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
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Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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