He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize