Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize