i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Someone signed my nipple.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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