We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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