she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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