god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize