Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize