I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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