Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
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Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
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I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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