HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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