just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize