You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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