WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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