It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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