VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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