im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize