Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize