Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
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