I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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