just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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