I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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