did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Non-Jews are for practice
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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