just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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