just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Everything about him screamed your future.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
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i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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