I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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