They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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