ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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