I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
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Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
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Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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