did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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