We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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