Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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