Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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