Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
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my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's never too late to be topless.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
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I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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