Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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